So I sat down with mom and she said she would take dictation and type for me. I decided to go through the uncles’ notes and things they left undone, kinda made me feel weepy. I miss the old guys quite a bit and it leaves me the elder now and incharge I suppose.

Uncle Fergus was working on poetry for mom, of course and Uncle Wembley was in the process of doing up his will. Looks like he was leaving the vast Fraggle fortune to Vroo *raises an eyebrow, or whisker..your choice *

I never knew Fergus was so full of words, so many words and such beautiful sentiments. He loved mom above anyone else and often talked to us at great length about taking care of her and looking out for her after he was gone. Wembley was far more gruff, his love set aside in a neat way but always constant. They are big shoes to fill and I struggle under expectations. I try to find order in the cage… to give the babies a sense of belonging, that they are safe here with us. I miss Boo and his pestering of the babies. I miss Vroo and his quiet wisdom and dignity. He made the cage feel so much more like home for all of us.

I walk the levels, looking for things out of order and all is well right now.

Chubbs and Fes help with the kids. Hector spends his days, nose buried in a book. He seems to have taken the losses harder than the others. I often help him groom just to pass the time, the long hours of missing those gone on to the bridge.

I feel a sense of foreboding and wonder when things will shift again. Many losses this summer and somehow I think it will continue… maybe even with myself. They don’t think rats think hard, that we ponder beyond a full food bowl or a cool sip at the water bottle. Mom knows we do and she reads us each as easily as she would a book. Mom can see how clever we are, how easily we are hurt. And she takes us each in turn with a gentle kiss on the forehead. She often sits with me now and tells me stories, she tells me of rats long gone and I try to understand. There are lots of things we don’t understand, but we do know love and what that feels like.

I know love, and I know mom and Adrienne love us without question. The commitment is strong and just as easily touched… you can feel the strength of things in the air.

Ahh well, it’s time to retire to a hammie for a nap.

Urn