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Just wanted to extend a welcome and congratulations to Valerie over at Azure Ridge. She gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on Friday the 22nd.

Welcome to the World Isabella!!!!!

Im feeling in a funk lately. I suppose I hate to see the end of summer, but I do love fall. Chubbers turned one, Urn was twenty months old yesterday *sighs* Time goes far to quickly and I often think I have lost more than I have gained these past few months. There has been alot of sadness and times that I thought my sides might split from the laughing. I feel suspended in a moment and Im ok with that, its ok to wait I tell myself.

We’ll see what the next few weeks bring to light, hope for some happiness. Some of the words are wrong, like girl, but this song fits how I feel about my boys that have gone on and those still with me.
Thanks Brian McKnight, you didnt mean it as a song for rats, but much of the meaning echoes quite clearly for love of any kind. Love is about feeling good, feeling “full”. My rats bring a genuine happiness to me, a kind of contentment that I didnt realize I was missing until the void was filled. They need care in a completely different way and my need to mother is never smothering or overdone as far as they are concerned =D

It’s undeniable… that we should be together…
It’s unbelievable how I used to say that I’d fall never
The basis you need to know, if you don’t know just how I feel,
Then let me show you now that I’m for real…
If all things in time, time will reveal…
Yeah…

One… you’re like a dream come true…
Two… just wanna be with you…
Three… girl it’s plain to see… that your the only one for me…
Four… repeat steps one through three…
Five… make you fall in love with me…
If ever I believe my work is done… then I start Back at One (yeah)

So Incredible… the way things work themselves out…
And all emotional, once you know what it’s all about babe…
And undesirable… for us to be apart…
Never would of made it very far…
Cause you know you’ve got the keys to my heart
Cause…

One… you’re like a dream come true
Two… just wanna be with you
Three… girl it’s plain to see… that your the only one for me
Four.. .repeat steps one through three
Five… make you fall in love with me
If ever I believe my work is done… then I start Back at One……

Say farewell to the dark of night… I see the coming of the sun…
I feel like a little child… whose life has just begun…
You came and breathed new life
Into this lonely heart of mine…
You threw out the life line… just in the Nick of Tiimmmeeee…..

One… you’re like a dream come true
Two… just wanna be with you
Three… girl it’s plain to see… that your the only one for me… girl and…
Four… repeat steps one through three
Five… make you fall in love with me
If ever I believe my work is done… then I start Back at One

So I sat down with mom and she said she would take dictation and type for me. I decided to go through the uncles’ notes and things they left undone, kinda made me feel weepy. I miss the old guys quite a bit and it leaves me the elder now and incharge I suppose.

Uncle Fergus was working on poetry for mom, of course and Uncle Wembley was in the process of doing up his will. Looks like he was leaving the vast Fraggle fortune to Vroo *raises an eyebrow, or whisker..your choice *

I never knew Fergus was so full of words, so many words and such beautiful sentiments. He loved mom above anyone else and often talked to us at great length about taking care of her and looking out for her after he was gone. Wembley was far more gruff, his love set aside in a neat way but always constant. They are big shoes to fill and I struggle under expectations. I try to find order in the cage… to give the babies a sense of belonging, that they are safe here with us. I miss Boo and his pestering of the babies. I miss Vroo and his quiet wisdom and dignity. He made the cage feel so much more like home for all of us.

I walk the levels, looking for things out of order and all is well right now.

Chubbs and Fes help with the kids. Hector spends his days, nose buried in a book. He seems to have taken the losses harder than the others. I often help him groom just to pass the time, the long hours of missing those gone on to the bridge.

I feel a sense of foreboding and wonder when things will shift again. Many losses this summer and somehow I think it will continue… maybe even with myself. They don’t think rats think hard, that we ponder beyond a full food bowl or a cool sip at the water bottle. Mom knows we do and she reads us each as easily as she would a book. Mom can see how clever we are, how easily we are hurt. And she takes us each in turn with a gentle kiss on the forehead. She often sits with me now and tells me stories, she tells me of rats long gone and I try to understand. There are lots of things we don’t understand, but we do know love and what that feels like.

I know love, and I know mom and Adrienne love us without question. The commitment is strong and just as easily touched… you can feel the strength of things in the air.

Ahh well, it’s time to retire to a hammie for a nap.

Urn

Talk about way to young to die. Boo suffered quite a bit in his short life. He had cancer at six months and then another six months of horrible abcesses that were directly related to the suture material, some type of reaction.

The final insult was congestive heart failure that left him to weak to be able to get to his favorite breakfast foods or to even want snacks. Its a sad day when a rat that so relished food no longer wants any part of it.

Such a handsome boy, so tough and he could be so terribly sweet. We did the kindest thing and helped him to the bridge. I know he is playing right now, likely pestering Fergus and somehow that comforts me. As a baby he spent much of his time picking with the least aggressive rat I ever met, Fergus. He had a tough shell, with a gooey inside and loved to be snuggled or his ears played with.

There has been so much loss over the summer that I am left totally numb and wondering what I have truly gotten myself into loving rats.

The cage is once again lighter and there are fewer squeaks of protest, no Boo to be a tough and pick with the kids. Its a strange kind of quiet and it leaves me deeply sad and full of longing to see them all again, just one more time.

Sleep easy Boomiester and know that you brought joy with your pain, a lightness to my heart that leaves me lost for the words to describe it.

I love you, sleep well.

Kisses,
mommy